guts

she waits for me
in a structure of bones
a network of tendons
a clockwork of joints
and organs

braided muscles
piercing eyes
each a fibrous mechanism
interconnected
a collection 
of beautiful things

dynamic components
of a grand arrangement
wrapped in the skin
of one I love
dismantle me
and then rebuild

two halves
is what we are
quantum sleep

lying in bed
I decided to write this poem
then universes split
into a web of alternate timelines
chasing every possibility

a mere stanza ago
some version of me fell fast asleep
deciding not to bother
choosing rest instead
that brilliant bastard

a few universes ago
spinning off into infinity
within a sea of possible worlds
I guess that me must be
better adjusted than I am
cartography

if they remade the world from my memory
they'd find it small, but finely detailed
only a few hundred square miles
of empirical knowledge

all the places I haven't been
vast fields of negative space
peppered with monuments
I've only seen in photos

these backroads, which twist and bend
around the stubborn railroad tracks
might have them scratching their heads
drawing up the blueprints

every brick and corner captured
by this distracted aperture
until it all comes to a stop
beyond my usual exit

trees and buildings up ahead
teetering on a cliff of understanding
clinging only to the grounds
of approximation

as for me, careless confusion
as they map along my shoulders
place my head squarely on top
and send me along

down this road and every other
that outlive my memory
past the vanishing point
of a curious horizon
sawdust

sweeping up sawdust
like the tender to a zen garden
in swirls, patterns
graceful skater movements

long, flat broom
sliding over a smooth surface
creating flower petals
with her footprints

twirling through the room
in her favorite day-off shirt
either pink or orange
I can't tell the difference

moving to the hum
of rumbling mechanisms
staring keenly at the floor
in concentration

surveying with fulfillment
shoulders back, hands on her hips
unintentional performance art
in everything she does
insomnia song

woke up this morning
blues singers always say
I guess that's a good place to start
when troubles begin

woke up this morning
even before breakfast
before golden pancakes
can fry up in the pan

making their struggle
much more unbearable
enduring the hard luck
on an empty stomach

woke up this morning
sung twice so it's heard
but if I wrote such a song
I'd have to start it differently

'cause I spend my nights
turning in bed, watching the ceiling
there's no waking up from
never falling asleep

if I ever splash through
the murky waters of awareness
trouble won't wait to follow me
down into my dreams
pyramid blues

we are subalterns
hinterlands for one another
fading ghosts in a spiritual river
fertile ground beneath the trees

swinging from a fire escape
on a hot metropolitan night
a network of telephone wires
timeless, blazing, and drunk

mythologized men
a prickle in the stew
our historical bodies
and I, your tributary

cats on a fence
under the same cruel moon
with pyramid songs
and unpublished desires

cast-iron straws
the geniuses of failure
we were never here
we are never really gone
pictionary

wearing a little frown
staring deep with concentration
connecting lines and strokes
into simple polygons

something new takes shape
within the ever-changing lines
of our unpredictable,
improvisational lives 

we are not creating life
only uncovering it with time
as a form emerges
maybe a hat or submarine
Albatross

luckless bird, the albatross
runs hard across the rocks
one flatted foot slapped down
after the other

snowy, stout, and buoyant 
too large to lift off from a standstill
neck stretched out ahead
charging towards the water

forcing air over broad wings
with incredible effort
great stampeding steps
determined groans

massive white body
barreling along the cliffside
every muscle aching
pushing harder

rewarded for the effort
with hard-earned flight
sailing on the swells
over the ocean

extinction might hold off
one more year, one more migration
ten-thousand wingbeats spent
to cross the north Pacific
encyrption

writing in the dark
can't see what I'm doing
precisely two beer bottles
drained beside me

pressing pen to paper
muscle memory alone
guiding nocturnal letters
onto pages

for all I know, I'm scratching
over bones of other letters
forming a new mutated alphabet
in the darkness

words woven together
in an unintended code
for myself to decipher later
over breakfast











© Tim Becker, 2016
Poems: 26
Pages: 40
Words: 2206